


Billy's got a gun

by Peaterparker



Series: If You Wanna Find Hell With Me [4]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Neil Hargrove Being an Asshole, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 10:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21408580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peaterparker/pseuds/Peaterparker
Summary: And Billy just-- thinks maybe his dad might be able to help him. Maybe this time will be different. There's so much going on and Billy just needs someone who knows him too well to settle his bones back into place.He doesn't get what he's looking for.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove & Neil Hargrove, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Series: If You Wanna Find Hell With Me [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1530518
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	Billy's got a gun

**Author's Note:**

> hi so this isn't the worst I could've made it, there were definitely more warnings to be added but I decided to scrap all the bad shit and just keep it short and simple. This probably won't make it in the official story so that's why I'm putting it here :) 
> 
> Neil Hargrove being Neil Hargrove.

Alexendra and Ethan are waiting for him outside, he has five minutes before she’s beckoning him through her own special talents. He knows his time is limited, that they’re closer to finding Eddie more than ever, and that his dad is soon to become useless. Not that anyone is going to kill him for being useless, this isn’t the mafia, but it feels final. It feels serious. His dad is no longer of use and what happens when Billy is no longer of use? He knows too much, he has too much power above everyone, what would they do to him to keep him quiet? 

He knocks five times on the hotel door before his dad opens it. They have an awkward stare down in the hall, both tensing and not exactly meeting the other’s gaze.

“Well, c’mon in I guess.” Neil grunts, opens the door wider and Billy slowly steps in, ready for an ambush of any kind. It was his idea to do this, half planned and fucking stupid like everything else he’s ever planned in his miserable life.

“This’ll probably be the last time we see each other like this, huh?” Neil asks, like he’s actually concerned about never seeing Billy again.

“Probably, yeah.” Billy sighs, he wishes talking to his dad was easier but nothing in his life has ever been easy except for when his mom was around. “Listen, dad, I just-- just wanted to say thanks, for your help. I, uh, know this is all--” he breaks off and waves his hand around like it’ll explain the words he’s failing to find. Neil nods a few times, like he gets it.

“Bill, you ain’t gotta-- jesus kid.” Neil’s voice cuts and cracks, but instead of having a moment with Billy he turns to anger. “God knows I never woulda been in this situation if your moms ever listened to me. But you remember her, crazy as a fucking witch.” 

That’s how it starts, always. A cutting remark about his mom and then all the regrets that Neil’s ever carried are quickly piled onto Billy’s shoulders. It’s been that way since he was six, then again when he was eleven, and then entirety of his teens. He’s going to be twenty soon and he’s still a beast of a burden for Neil.

“Y’know, all I ever wanted was for you to just… love me, like a father is supposed to.” Billy croaks, looking down at his feet. Always, always, always weak in the face of Neil’s anger. “Just wanted you to be a good dad, s’all.” 

“I never fuckin’ wanted you.” Neil says, calmly. That’s how Billy knows he’s telling the truth. Neil is usually all explosive outbursts, raging screams of threats that Billy could dissect and add doubt to when Neil decided to do something nice for him. 

It says enough that Billy doesn’t speak another word. He’s cold, so fucking cold, the loss of everything around him. His mom, his family, the life he had carefully cultivated to keep his dad happy or at least pleased enough he didn’t feel the need to destroy Billy’s progress. It all falls away with the truth: his dad never fucking wanted him, never loved him enough to change his mind about it. It hurts, even though he thinks he already knew this truth. 

He still says nothing, gives not even wave, even though he feels Neil’s eyes track him towards the door. It clicks shut behind him, soft in a way Billy feels it shouldn’t be. He wants to slam doors, punch walls and break glass. His dad never fucking loved him and the world should know his pain but this time feels different. He hurts, he hurts so bad he thinks his soul, if it exists, is breaking. But it doesn’t feel like a burn, he doesn’t feel like he needs to burn the place down to the ground with everyone in it to prove a point. He feels like the door closing quietly behind him is more than him leaving his father behind but shutting his father out. 

He no longer has to be scared of the footsteps walking down the hall early in the morning, even though the smallest of noises still startles him awake. He uses his pain as fuel to walk down the three doors and use his key to get inside. Steve is waiting for him, tying his shoes and smiling up at Billy when he stumbles in. He stands, question poised on his lips but Billy wastes no time walking up to him and putting his face in Steve’s neck. He feels the shocked breath that Steve takes and lets himself settle as Steve slowly releases the tension in his shoulders.

“That bad, huh?” He asks quietly.

“You have no idea, pretty boy.” 

They don't talk about it but it feels like a lifeline between them as they're jumping out of the van and in front of the Mind Flayer all over again.


End file.
